Taking the Edge Off

‘This isn’t even about my social life,’ Michael said flabbergasted. All the while he gesticulated wildly.

‘How is getting girls nothing to do with your social life?’

‘Because-

‘Because you don’t have a social life?!’ she teased. ‘What’s the problem? Why are you so hung up on girls all of a sudden? Are you a late starter or something? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but have you even been with a girl?’

‘No, and I don’t care okay? So just leave it,’ Michael defended, arms crossed sullenly.

‘Bullshit, I haven’t been with anybody for nine years,’ Karen retaliated. ‘Nine years, Michael. I’m up to my eyeballs in cobwebs. So you’re a virgin. Big deal!’

‘Well it is a big deal, okay,’ he admitted, turning one-eighty on himself. His mom gave a sympathetic look, held her breath and then eased it out carefully. ‘I always act so stupid around girls I like. It’s like there’s some idiot switch that gets flipped.’

‘That’s called excitement, Michael. It’ll wear off in ten years, trust me.’

‘I’m not waiting ten years, mom. Just cut it out will you? Forget about it.’