Taking the Edge Off

‘Mom?’

‘Yes honey?’ Here it came, her life ready to come crashing down in a catastrophic earthquake of complete shame. She paused and looked to him.

‘What does it feel like without a condom?’

The little bastard is psychic after all!!!

‘Like it was meant to be,’ she admitted.

‘And when should I find out? I mean, do I always have to use a rubber?’

‘No, you’ll find out when you’re with someone you trust and they’re on birth control, so you don’t get her pregnant or she doesn’t give you an infection.’ Michael stood fast and hesitated as something else hung unspoken from the tip of his tongue. ‘No,’ Karen said in finality. I won’t show you, she thought, no matter how much I need to.

‘Mom, we just had sex,’ he said profoundly, as though having uncovered the crime of the century.

‘I didn’t make you.’

‘Well, no, but it doesn’t counter the fact that we committed incest.’

‘Doesn’t count. Nobody else knows. And you wore a condom.’

‘That’s a crazy excuse-

‘Will you please stop masturbating in front of me while you try to gain the moral high ground, please? You look silly!’