Halloween costume-1
See, I didn’t want to be a clownish, heavily painted trampy looking female. I wanted to look as normal as I possibly could. I was going to make this party and the day as complete an experience that I could possibly have. I had to know if I COULD pass as a real woman! I had been in therapy for the past few months for several things, one of them being my gender issues and I had arranged for my therapy appointment to be on the same afternoon as the party so that my therapist could see how serious I was about wanting to understand and deal with my crossdressing. I also knew that, by arranging things the way I had, I could prolong my experience and make a complete day of it.
As Halloween approached, I took every opportunity I could find to practice walking and moving around in the skirt and heels. I knew that, since I don’t wear heels and a skirt everyday, I would need every bit of time I could find to appear comfortable in them.
I also practiced with makeup, knowing that I would, at some point during the day, have to repair some of what I would be wearing. I painted and cleaned my nails several times each day so I would be able to do them properly without smudges or overprinting them and ending up with nail polish on my fingers.
The week before the party, I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs! I had planned everything as well as I knew how to and I hoped I hadn’t forgotten anything. This was going to be a critical day for me. Not only would I be spending all day as my femme self, but I would have to be particularly convincing while going to my therapy session. The last thing I needed was that someone would “read” me, while downtown. I mean, if I were going to be a caricature of a female, it wouldn’t matter if I were “read” or not. Since I was taking the, to me, daring step of trying to appear as REAL as I could, if I WERE “read”, it would be disastrous both for my plans and for my mental well being.