A marriage in trouble

“Joyce, did you hear me? My jerk of a husband is seeing somebody on the side. We fight like cats and dogs and I cut him off until he behaves better. And he goes out and finds a hole to bury that prick of his in.

“The budget has been down about $3-400 each month. I pay the god damn bills, I see it disappear. A couple of more dollars at the grocery store cash back, a cash station here and there. That bastard. First he fucks up at home and now he’s fucking somewhere else.”

Her sister Joyce shook her head. Deb thought it was in sympathy for her plight, but it wasn’t because Deb was wronged. It was because Deb was the one that was destroying the marriage. Something she wouldn’t ever allow herself to see.

Joyce went through it herself with her husband Terry. He had the patience of Job, but it was too much for him and he filed for divorce about 10 months ago. It was not yet finalized, but they had quietly been going to marital counseling for the past 9 months. She only started when she realized that he was not going to come back on his own. It’s been a tough road for Terry and he moved out long before he filed. It was a year of living without a husband and with two shaken adolescents. It took about 3 months for her to realize what she had and what she could lose forever. In therapy with him, she found out who she really was to others and how she needed to change. Their kids suffered more than anyone else. That hurt the most because she knew was the cause. Terry’s been clear that he considers himself free and could choose to go out if he wants to, and has on occasion. That has shaken Joyce to her core. She goes to bed alone every night. Somehow, all of this was lost on Deb.