A question caught me by surprise-1

“So, what’s the deal with you and your sister?”

The question caught me by surprise, enough so that what promised to be a
perfectly executed head shot ended with my character being fragged by a tank
instead.

“What do you mean?” I asked. I hadn’t the faintest clue what Nick was
talking about.

“I dunno,” Nick replied. “You guys seem really…close, that’s all.”

“Well, we are twins,” I said sarcastically, annoyed that this seemingly
inane line of questioning had cost me the lead.

“I mean really close. Like, freaky close,” Nick continued.

“Yeah, no idea what you’re talking about dude.” Nick was a good friend,
but he could be a little thick sometimes, especially when it came to the
opposite sex. My sister was no exception.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. My eminently more studious
twin entered our apartment, carrying an armful of books. What possessed
her to take eighteen hours in one semester was beyond me, but she seemed to
be balancing her course load effectively, although her social life was
virtually non-existent, outside of hanging out with me.

“Hey Jack,” Jennifer greeted me breathlessly.

“Hey Jen. Care to join us?” I asked, gesturing towards the TV with my
controller.

“Can’t. Mid-term tomorrow. Some of us actually have to study once in a
while,” my sister replied with mock criticism.

“That’s your fault for setting the bar too high. Some of us know how to
manage parental expectations,” I retorted.

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Mom and Dad would be so proud. Well, I’ll
let you two get back to killing aliens or Nazis or whatever it is your
killing today. Love you,” she said, leaning over the back of the sofa to
hug me from behind and kiss my cheek.

“Ditto,” I replied. It was something of an inside joke between the two
of us, a reference to an old Patrick Swayze movie our mother was
particularly fond of. With that, Jennifer picked up her books and made her
way to her bedroom, closing the door to block out the sounds of electronic
gunfire.

“You good to go?” I asked Nick, eager to return to our digital mayhem.

Nick just stared at me instead. ” You see! That, right there!” he
shouted. “What?” I asked. What the hell was his problem?

“You live together. You hang out all the time. You’re all lovey-dovey
with each other. You act like you’re, you know, together,” Nick explained.

I was starting to get annoyed. “Look, me and Jen are tight, ok? We’ve
been each other’s best friend our whole lives. It doesn’t mean anything
weird is going on between us.”

“I’m just saying, when people see you in public together, people that
don’t know you, they think you’re a couple. And that’s pretty fuckin’
weird,” Nick insisted.

My patience finally ran out. “Whatever dude,” I said dismissively. “As
much as I appreciate your incestuous implications, I too have a mid-term in
the morning and I intend to at least show up for it.”

He took the hint. “Later man,” he said as he made his way to the door.

“Later.”

I continued to play for another hour or so alone after Nick left, but I
was still distracted by our earlier conversation. Nick wasn’t exactly a
social butterfly or anything, so if he was picking some kind of weird vibe
between me and my twin, there was a good chance other people were as well.
Eventually I called it quits and went to bed.

sleep eluded me for the next several hours. Nick’s words kept echoing
my head, and hard as I tried to ignore the implications, there was a cold
logic behind his words. Perception is everything and even if nothing
inappropriate was going on between me and my sister, the mere appearance of
it could have lasting implications. It would explain my non-existent
dating streak.

I didn’t open my eyes when I heard my bedroom door creak open. Jennifer
would sneak into my room all the time when we were kids, a habit that
continued to manifest into adulthood. I thought nothing of it before,
happily enjoying the warmth and intimacy of the ritual. But as I felt the
bed shift as Jennifer sat down on her side, I realized that this was
exactly the sort of thing Nick was talking about.

“Move over,” she ordered, poking me in the back.

“You do you realize that you have your own bed, right?” I asked
rhetorically.

“Yours is more comfortable,” Jennifer replied.

“They’re exactly the same.”

“Well, I like sleeping with you,” she said. As if to stress the point,
Jennifer reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. At that point, I
gave up on sleep entirely.

“Jen, do you ever think that maybe we’re a little too…comfortable with
each other?” I asked slowly.

“What do you mean?”

“Like this,” I said, squeezing her hand for emphasis. “What we’re doing
right now.”

“We’ve shared a bed ever since we were kids,” my sister replied, a
little defensively.

“Uh huh. But we’re not kids anymore. Isn’t it a little weird now?” I
asked.

“I don’t know,” Jennifer said thoughtfully. “I never really thought
about it.”

“I’m just saying. I think our relationship might be a lot
more…intimate than most. Like, inappropriately intimate,” I explained.

“Well, most siblings fight like cats and dogs over stupid shit. We’ve
been best friends our whole lives. I’d say we’re ahead of the curve when
it comes to brother/sister relationships,” Jennifer declared
authoritatively. “Where us this coming from anyway?”

“Something Nick said earlier.”

Jennifer snorted derisively. “Nick’s just jealous. He’s had a thing
for me ever since high school and he won’t accept that I’m not interested.”

“You mean he’s jealous of me?” I asked.

“I guess.”

“See, isn’t a little weird that he’d be jealous of me? I’m your brother
for Christ’s sake.” I said incredulously.

“I don’t know. All I know is that I love you and you love me. Isn’t
that the only thing that matters?” Jennifer asked anxiously.

She had a point. We were close. Why should I give a crap what anyone
else thinks? “I guess you’re right,” I said, suddenly eager to let the
subject drop.

“Of course I’m right. I’m always right,” Jennifer said, sounding
somewhat relieved.

“What about when you thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?” I teased.

” I didn’t know Georgia was a country at the time,” my sister muttered.

“Still, it didn’t strike you as a little odd? Did you think Red Dawn
was a documentary?”

” You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Jennifer asked crossly.

“I’ll only bring it up when the time is right,” I smirked. “Classes.
School functions. Parties, assuming we’re ever invited to one.

“Fuck you.”

“Love you too.”

It’s never fun waking up with morning wood. It’s a cruel and thoroughly
useless erection, and particularly insidious when you realize it’s nestled
firmly against your sister’s ass. To make matters worse, our nocturnal big
spoon/little spoon reversal also resulted in my right hand gently cupping
Jennifer’s right breast.

The one thing I had going for me was that Jennifer was still fast
asleep. I quickly and quietly withdrew from the quasi-incestuous embrace
and made my way to the bathroom to take care of business, cursing the fact
that I’d accidentally gotten to second base with my twin sister. Talk
about inappropriate.

When I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, I was greeted by a
yawning stretching Jennifer, dressed in her usual sleep attire, which
consisted of panties and one of my old t-shirts. Apparently this
particular shirt had shrunk considerably in the laundry, because as my
sister stretched, the fabric of the shirt slid up her legs, exposing she
sheer material of her underwear.

Yep. Definitely inappropriate.

Luckily, Jennifer either had no recollection of our awkward morning
embrace or had simply decided not to mention it. Either way, I was spared
considerable embarrassment. I mulled over my predicament as I sat in class
that morning, eager to find a way to mitigate my unnatural desires without
hurting my sister’s feelings.

To be honest, this probably wasn’t the first time I’d reacted to my
sister’s body, but I was never as cognizant of it as I was now. Both of us
were woefully inexperienced when it came to sex, a consequence of a certain
degree of social ineptitude, as well as our lifelong emotional intimacy.
I’d always found her attractive, but I never found myself dwelling on her
body so intently before. It occurred to me that I had seen more of her
than anyone else on the planet.

And just like that, I was once again punished by the gods of
inconvenient and painful erections, the kind that used to strike without
warning during puberty. Thus, I has the privilege of spending the rest of
the lecture trying desperately to think about anything other than what my
sister looked like naked.

What I needed was a distraction. Someone other than my twin sister to
dwell on. Someone that was actually an option. That last part was the
most difficult. I still hadn’t quite mastered the art of talking to a
woman that wasn’t related to me. Too many video games, not enough football
I assumed.

I took a mental count of eligible female classmates I actually knew by
name. It was a short list. Vicky and Michelle. I’d actually gotten to
know Michelle fairly well over the last several weeks, thanks to a series
of shared classes and interests. Nick, Jen, Michelle, and I had formed a
mini nerd club, which met regularly at her dorm room to play video games
and discuss all things geek chic. Unfortunately, Michelle had the sex
drive and appeal of a turnip, so our relationship was destined to remain
platonic indefinitely.

Vicky was Michelle’s roommate, which was about the extent of what I knew
about her. She kept to herself for the most part, although she would
interject occasionally whenever classic film happened to be the topic of
discussion. She was pleasant enough, even if she was a little aloof. It
seemed like Vicky would be my best option. She was cute, not jaw-dropping
beautiful or anything, but certainly attractive. She didn’t seem overtly
interested in me, but then again she didn’t seem particularly interested in
anyone, so I decided to risk it. A bruised ego wouldn’t be the worst thing
in the world.

I decided to run the idea by Jennifer first. This was uncharted
territory after all, and in spite of recent awkward developments, she was
still my best friend and confidant. Best of all, she was a woman, so I
imagined that if nothing else, her feminine insight might come in handy.

“So, I’ve been thinking about asking Vicky out,” I announced casually as
I tuned my guitar. I rarely needed to find a decent transition or
establish context when beginning a conversation with my sister, an
advantage to having similar thought processes.

“Oh? And why would you want to do a thing like that?” she asked with
slightly narrowed eyes. Weird. I’d expected her to tease me a little, but
her tone sounded almost catty.

“I don’t know. She’s cute. Seems kind of interesting.” I didn’t expect
to have to defend myself.

“Was she cute and interesting last week?” Yep. Definitely catty.

“I suppose so. Why do you ask?” I inquired carefully.

“She just doesn’t seem like your type, that’s all,” Jennifer said
noncommittally.

“I have a type?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Everyone has a type. Didn’t think you went for frigid and pretentious,
but who am I to judge?”

What the hell was her problem? “Look, are you going to help me or not?”
I asked crossly.

Jen sighed. “Fine. But I’m doing this under protest.”

“Your objection is noted. So, what do you know?”

“Well, she’s pale. Not elegantly fair skinned like your beautiful
sister. More like a freaky, dead pale. She might be a vampire.”

I wasn’t amused. “You’re not helping.”

“Fine. Well, she thinks you’re cute, in a geeky ‘Dungeons and Dragons’
sort of way,” Jennifer explained.

“We don’t play Dungeons and Dragons. We don’t even play Magic the…”

“Yeah, she’s not going to be able to make that distinction, and I’d
advise against trying to do it for her,” my sister replied irritably. “Now
may I finish?”

“Sorry.”

“That’s ok. Anyway, she’s really into old movies, especially Alfred
Hitchcock. If you bring up Vertigo, she’ll talk about it for at least an
hour.” Interesting. I already knew the part about classic movies, but the
Hitchcock thing was new information.

“I’ve never seen it.”

Jennifer shook her head. “Don’t bother. Just bring it up once and
you’ll know everything you ever wanted to know about it and then some.
Let’s see. Loves the Stones, the Boss, Zepplin, all the classics, so I
can’t fault her taste in music.”

“Should I break out the guitar?” I asked, idly strumming a few chords.
Jennifer was not pleased.

“No. Do not be that guy. You and I jam together and it’s awesome and
fun and we have a great time. But if you use your guitar to try to get
into some girl’s pants like every other asshole with a faux hawk on this
campus, you will have a head injury and a broken guitar. Are we clear?”

“Fine, fine,” I said as I put my hands up in mock surrender. “Anything
else.”