DIARY OF A TEENAGE MILKMAN

“I’m really glad you enjoyed my little birthday surprise, I was worried you’d take fright and run off when you saw this saggy old body.” Linda continued, “I had a vision of you racing home to tell your father and the police turning up at my door to arrest me for molesting a minor.” It was my turn to laugh, “You have no idea.” I told her, “Coming into this room and seeing you on that bed was like all my Christmas’s and birthdays coming at once, with Easter thrown in for good measure.” This seemed to please Linda no end, she hugged me again, “I’m so glad,” she laughed, “I so hope you’ll visit this lonely old woman again?” she asked. There was going to be no problem on that score, I intended to visit and visit often, her age wasn’t a problem as far as I was concerned, that day was the beginning of my desire for older women even though for a good few years Linda would be that older woman, I would quite happily have made it a permanent and public matter if it was up to me but Linda thought otherwise and I respected her wishes reluctantly. Even after I married, ironically a younger woman, and raised a f****y, I still continued my illicit trysts with Linda, even if it did peter out into our annual “birthday” coupling. I didn’t go looking for affairs with older women but I did learn to notice the signs when they were more than just friendly towards me and always let them make the first move, I simply made it known to them discretely that I was open to more than just a friendly chat. I’ve always been a bit of a loner so I was never into the local social scene which revolved around the local bars, any first contact was made in the local supermarket and over a period of time, and never with married women, there was no way I was going to get in the middle of anyone’s marital problems, it was strictly single women and widows and always older, a bit difficult as I got older myself, the oldest woman I’ve ever had sex with was seventy six, not one but two, one of which was an amazing “for old times’ sake” encounter which ended with the tables getting turned on me as I was seduced into sex with a woman at the opposite end of the spectrum.