DIARY OF A TEENAGE MILKMAN

It was a younger looking version of the Linda I had known looking back at me, no mistaking those features, it was only then I looked at the “old woman” she was smiling at me, “She is very beautiful isn’t she Scott ?” “Nearly as beautiful as her gran” I replied, quickly recovering my composure. “How are you Linda? Are you home for a holiday?” I quickly asked. “Yes we are” she replied, “you still know how to flatter an old woman, Claire is actually my great granddaughter.” That threw me a bit, I’d forgotten that Linda’s daughters were both a bit older than me and the youngest would be nearly sixty years old by now. Claire was the granddaughter of Linda’s oldest daughter, I’d never met her. She had married one of the first US servicemen to be stationed locally who was stationed in the South of England before I ever met Linda. I didn’t know who to look at, Claire was a beautiful young woman, she had her great grandmother’s eyes and lips, and raven-black hair, Linda looked stunning for her age, I tried to see if she had any work done on her face without staring but she was quicker than I thought. “Before you ask, or don’t ask but think, yes, I admit it, I’ve had a wee bit of work done, not a lot just a nip here and a tuck there, nothing drastic.” “Gran!” Claire squealed, “You can’t go telling complete strangers things like that!” I had to laugh, I might be a stranger to her but I was certainly no stranger to her great grandmother. “If there is one thing Scott is,” Linda continued, giving her young companion a smile, “He is certainly no stranger.” Then giving me a sly wink she added, “And to answer your next question Scott, I haven’t had everything lifted or tightened, I still have the body of a woman half my age.” “Eeewww, gran that is disgusting.” Claire screamed, going bright red in the face. I didn’t know where to look; my eyes did, despite my best intentions being drawn of their own volition towards her breasts. They looked as magnificent as I’d remembered all those years ago.
I quickly tried to change the subject by asking all the usual polite questions, it turned out that Claire was just about to turn sixteen and Linda’s present was a trip across the Atlantic to visit her mother, grandmother and great grandmother’s home town. She had never been out of the states before and was a keen student of the history of the female side of her f****y tree and its origins. Unusual for a young girl in the 21st century but it delighted Linda who hadn’t been home in ten years and wasn’t sure if this would be her last chance to visit. We chatted for nearly an hour, Linda asking after my own f****y while I asked who all was over here with them for their visit. I didn’t know Claire’s mother or father and had barely known Linda’s other daughter but it was good manners to ask. It turned out that they were visiting by themselves, just the two of them. Most of Linda’s contemporise had passed away, her old neighbourhood had changed completely, the houses having been demolished several years earlier and replaced by new homes, with new tenants. Linda didn’t know any of the people who lived in the area now and besides, having been a pretty private person in her younger days, she hadn’t socialised with many of her neighbours. The fact that she and her daughters had a bit of a reputation locally for being over friendly with American servicemen it wasn’t much of a surprise that she didn’t have many old friends who were still alive or lived in the town.
Linda told me I was the first friendly face they’d met since they’d arrived in town two days earlier, they were pretty much restricted to strolling about the town seeing as Linda had never driven and Claire was too young to drive in this country. They’d planned a shopping trip to Glasgow and Edinburgh towards the end of their three weeks in Scotland before spending the last week of their holiday in London to do the whole tourist trip thing with visits to Buckingham Palace and shows in the West End. This meant that they would spend the next two weeks confined to the town limits, not a great distance in it; you could walk from one end of the town to the other in fifteen minutes. I offered my services as driver to take them to visit the outlying countryside and beaches if they got bored and found themselves at a loose end. Linda declined, saying that it might be better if I didn’t. Claire looked puzzled and asked why Linda was reluctant to accept my offer? “It’s complicated” Linda told her, “I’ll explain it to you later” I repeated my offer, saying I was sure something could be worked out to accommodate their needs? Linda slapped me on the arm and told me to behave myself, which left Claire even more puzzled, “I’ll explain that to you later too” she said with a laugh. When we parted Linda was still refusing my offer to be their chauffeur during their stay, she wouldn’t even allow me to give them a lift back to their hotel saying it was a beautiful day and they could walk there in ten minutes.